Londoncooking.co.uk

How many tubs of humous get sold in the UK per day?

C’mon – must be at least a million.

To be sure, we’re a nation obsessed with a chickpea dip.

I wonder why – a lot of the supermarket stuff is a bit of a travesty – too lemony, garlicky, to cover up the lack of taste from the key humous ingredients: chick peas and tahini (sesame paste).

Instead of going for this pallid, ersatz humous, try the legendary hummus bros (branches near Holborn, and on Wardour St in Soho).

The bros serve up a more genuine Middle-Eastern rendition of the h-dip. Satisfyingly thick and tasty, they serve it with a choice of meat and vegetarian toppings in the middle -

My tip – the ful (beans) or roast vegetables. The occasional falafel salad one is fantastic too. Oh, and Mexican Beef.

You can take away the humous too, so no need to rely on the bastard pesto or wasabi-flavoured supermarket version in future.

Image by Rain Rabbit

What happened to the real pubs in town?

How many have:

• blindingly red upholstry
• hot nuts
• an amazing selection of ales
• and (a pub first here?) friendly staff who’ll often save you even the trouble of moving 2m to the bar to order

Ye Old White Horse ticks all of these boxes.

Situated between Holborn and the Strand, its past claim to fame was refusing to serve students

(despite being practically inside the LSE campus – genius.)

Needless to say, now all are welcome, and it’s all the better for it…

Will report back when I’ve tried their hearty-looking food.

Image by Kake Pugh

Are you classy? Then check out the Vogue-of-Cooking website, Epicurious’ collection of quick & easy recipes – my pick of the bunch is the Louisiana Devilled Crab Cakes, y’all.

Are you, well… not classy? You could do worse than checking out the Sun’s slideshow of the World’s Rudest Food, bringing Pee Cola, Shito Hot, Mini Dickmanns (pictured) and Cock Flavoured Soup mix to the masses.

Meanwhile, the Guardian challenged its readers to come up with two course menus costing less than £5 – downturn-tastic.

Finally, don’t miss the London Paper’s London’s top secret restaurants – top of the list is the mercurial Food Rambler’s Rambling Restaurant – for all the latest Rambling Restaurant news and dates, check out the Facebook Page.

This will def be worth checking out in future – you can book/find out more info by emailing ramblingrestaurant@googlemail.com.

Nestled beside one of the least prepossessing roundabouthospitalskyscrapers in London (if not the world), lies 500, a modestly decked-out trattoria which takes its name from the much-loved Mini-esque Fiat:

The main thing to note, is that this is the real deal – not your usual ‘UK crap version’ of Italian cuisine. It’s also not pricey, considering the quality.

My recommendation: go for the meat – lamb, veal (whoops…) whatever – it’s bloody amazing…

Photo by someone called Kake Pugh (EH?) Thanks, anyway, Kake.

As the guy once said, a good pub in Camden Town is hard to find.

But the Crown and Goose, aka Goose and Crown/Moose and Frown (or so Abi calls it,) tucked away on the corner of Delancey and Arlington, is the real ramona, with friendly staff and excellent gastropub-type food, made by a chef fresh from Michelin-starred acclaim.

The place abides, despite its owners almost getting the green light to turn the pub into a strip joint (a sure indication the kind of classy outfits that operate in Camden…)

So all the more reason to cherish it, if it weren’t already the top of the pub pile in a Camden packed with by-the-numbers, characterless craphaunts.

The Crown and Goose’s Website.

Abi’s Article: ‘Long live the Goose!‘

Home of Heston Blumenthal’s famously nuts nouveau cuisine caff (the Michelin-studded Fat Duck) Bray is also home to the big man’s lesser known Tudor-style gastropub, The Hind’s Head, serving mains for a less-than-eye-watering £15-£20.

Had the Sunday works: rare roast beef, gigantic yorkshire pudding and potatoes. Taking a really obvious pub food choice made a great comparison point with londonpubgastroaction – the verdict: it turns out Heston is indeed a genius.

The meat in this place (along with the triple-cooked chips) is just out of this world. (Word to the wise: If you’re a veggie, don’t even bother, pal.)

How to get there: Get a train from Paddington to Maidenhead – it’s walkable from there, or a 5 minute taxi ride. Booking most definitely necessary – tel. 01628 626151.

Obligatory historical gossip about the Hind’s Head Pub: Prince Philip had his stag party in the Hind’s Head back in the Summer of love  (1947). Staff report it was a messy, messy night.

Back in the real world (i.e. London): Two dreadful meals, to make me wish I was back in Bray. The incomparably sh*t Navajo Joe in Covent Garden, and the ever-Masonic Hercules Pillars, which tried to confuse me by serving a dose of molten lava disguised as a microwave meal.

Hey, in London, who can tell the difference anyway these days, right?

Take me back to Bray. Heston – forget the Little Chef, it’s a losing battle – you’re already a proven man of the people.

Sometimes London throws things at you you never expect: who’d've thunk there’d be a chilled out, friendly, affordable and down to earth restaurant and basement wine bar just seconds from the gigantic brick and neon cowpat that is Leicester Square? Welcome to Val Taro!

Map of Val Taro bar and restaurant, Leicester Square.

Enter via the side entrance, go straight through the door at the end of the corridor, and down the stairs is the bar.

We went on a Friday night, and got a table without a problem. A great selection of Italian wines, and complementary nibbles (ah – remember the days of the complementary nibbles?) The pizza (N.Italian?) is thick and bready, though fresh, and the pasta looks pretty hearty too. The food is quite bizarre… make sure you ask for ‘al dente’ if you’re ordering pasta.

Beloved of people who work in Theatreland (ie – acting/drama types, but try not to let that put you off) Val Taro is an absolute gem, and it’s amazing somewhere like this can exist within spitting distance of the commercial hotchpotch that is the ‘Square.